Xena's Creek
by Nimbus Fabella
Summary: Just 2 writers getting really bored and goofing off.
1. Of Henbane and Horses

Xena's Creek by Hope and The Pixie Princess  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own the charactars of Xena, Ares, Gabrielle, Virgil, Solan, or Eli. So please don't sue!  
  
Authors note: This was written in about thirty minutes so that is why it is so poorly written!  
  
Reviews: YES!!!!!!!! I LIVE OFF OF REVIEWS!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Xena: Hi Gabrielle!  
  
Gabrielle: Hello.......Suddenly I'm sad.......  
  
Xena: Why?  
  
Gabrielle: I want Virgil!  
  
Xena: You cradle robber! Since you can't find anyone you're age you go after some one 25 years younger!  
  
(Gabrielle plays annoying acordion so that she can't hear Xena's insults)  
  
Gabrielle: Everyone it's polka time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Xena: Are you on henbane again?  
  
Gabrielle: And you're talking! I read the back of your yearbook! Have sex be free! we're the class of 2 B.C.!  
  
(Suddenly everything goes black and white)  
  
(Ares opens door and comes in ::Applaude::)  
  
Ares: Lucy I'm home!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Xena: If you insult me like that again I'm going to start calling you Kevin!!!!!!  
  
(Ares shrinks back in fear of terrible name)  
  
Ares: Now where is little Ares?  
  
(Solan walks in with little round glasses, a bow tie, and a lollipop ::applause::)  
  
Xena: His name is Solan!  
  
Solan: I'm now a priest for Eli! Eli loves all but Ares!  
  
Ares: Eli's a wuss! Go Olympians!  
  
(Ares is suddenly holding a flag, a football, and a t-shirt that says 'Olympians')  
  
(Xena elbows Ares)  
  
Gabrielle: (to Solan) Do you have any more lollipops?  
  
Solan: Why of course Aunt Gabby!  
  
(Gabrielle takes lollipop from Solan and sprinkles henbane on it)  
  
Solan: Aunt Gabby, The Great Eli does not approve of the way you are mutilating yourself!  
  
Gabrielle: (unable to see any longer beacase of henbane, she is talking to Argo) Why Xena! That is a beautiful hairstyle you have!  
  
Author 1: I love you, Ares!!!  
  
(Ares winks)  
  
Ares: Right back at ya babe!  
  
Author 2: Will you shut up?! You're ruining the story!  
  
Xena: Yeah get lost Authors!  
  
Author 2: Hey! I'm on your side! Regaurdless, if it weren't for us you wouldn't be in this story!  
  
Ares: She's got a point!  
  
Author 1: Okay fine we'll let you finish.........dumb warrior princess and her freak god...............................  
  
(Gabrielle runs up to Ares and passionatly kisses him)  
  
Ares: Well everyone is into me today, huh?  
  
Gabrielle: Come! Let us elope to ponyland! Were pigs fly and pixies waft in the breeze!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Big Voice: Dum! Dum! Duuuuuuuuuum! Will Ares elope with Gabby? Will Solan ever be normal again? Will Xena be rid of her PMS? Will the authors ever shut up?  
  
Authors 1&2: Hey! We resent that!  
  
BigVoice: All these questions and more answered on the next Xena's Creek! 


	2. The Athens City Acadamy of Performing Ra...

Xena's Creek II By Hope and The Pixie Princess  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of Xena, Gabrielle, Ares, or Solan, so please don't sue!!!!!!  
  
Dedication: To Author #1(Pixie)'s boyfriend Michael who will eventually read this and realize that his personal buisness is posted all over the internet! Pleez don't kill us Michael, WE LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Author's Note: This should be better than the last one since this took an entire hour( for those of you who don't understand, I'm being sarcastic)!!!!!!!!! And just so you know this takes place somewhere between season 5 and 6. _______________________________________________  
  
Gabrielle: ( sounding unusually peppy) HELLO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Xena: You're sick.........  
  
Gabrielle: Huh? What do you mean I'm sick you're the one who reminds evryone that you constantly have PMS!  
  
Xena: At least I'm not the one so depressed about Virgil as yo go as far as to try to elope with Ares to Ponyland!  
  
Gabrielle: (suddenly shredding papyrus) Where did the hunk of burnin love go anyway?  
  
Author #1: (in blissful state) Michael!  
  
Author #2: Will you shut up about him already?! All I want to do is write a decent fanfic and all you can do is sit there staring off into space with a goofy little grin on while repeating ' Michael, Michael, Michael'!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Author #1:( stares into space trying to find a decent comeback but instead says) Michael!!!!!  
  
Author #2: And wasn't that wonderful when I walked in on you and Michael! I'm convinced that you shoved him up against the wall!!!!!!!  
  
(Xena and Gabrielle are sitting uncofortably with annoyed looks on faces hearing the echoing voices of the writers. About this time Ares walks in with a book in hand.)  
  
Ares: I think I walked in at the wrong moment.  
  
Xena: No you were right on cue.  
  
Gabrielle: Hey, Ares whatcha reading?  
  
Ares: (obviously absorbed in book and speaking in a single tone) Xena X~Posed  
  
Xena: I'm not even going to ask.  
  
Ares ( suddenly looking at the audiendce while cheesy commercial music comes on) Well you should ask! It's the biography of Lucy Lawless and her on-screen character. The book is written by Nadine Crenshaw, the author of Scully X~Sposed. (begins speaking in fast and one toned voice) This book was not approved, prepared, or endorsed by Lucy Lawless or any entity involved in creating or producing Xena.  
  
Gabrielle: Hello my baby, hello my honey, hello my ragtime gal! Send me a kiss by wire. Baby my heart's on fire. If you refuse me then honey you lose me , then come on the phone and then tell me you're my own.  
  
Xena: (begins pondering wheather Gabrielle is Lesbo or on henbane again) Gabrielle, I thought I sent you to that facility in Athens to get you clean from that henbane.  
  
Gabrielle: Well, Xena, I have a confession to make. I wasn't really at that center. I was at the Athens Academy for Preforming Ragtime Singers.  
  
Xena: (has nothing to say because she's so shocked)  
  
Gabrielle: And I was never on henbane to begin with. I just wanted attention.  
  
Xena: (looks in her Dinar Pouch to see how much money she has) Well that's just wonderful, now isn't it?! Now I have to send you to a therapist and get you straightened out again before season six starts!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Gabrielle: Why? The writers told me I'll be going plenty insane this season so what's the point, this way I won't even have to act!!!!!!!!  
  
Ares: (finally looking up from his book) Yeah Xena lil blondie over here gets pretty wild with her harem dancing and all.  
  
Xena: Harem dancing?  
  
Ares: Yeah didn't you get the script?  
  
Xena: I never act, I always do improv, like that show Whose Linus is itus Anywayus?  
  
Ares: So that means you do like me!  
  
Xena: What do you mean?  
  
Ares: What do you mean what do I mean? I was there for Amphipolis! You practically attacked me in that temple!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sorta like Michael!!!!!!!!!! ::snicker::snicker::snicker::  
  
Author #1: Well you can forget about me writing myself into the story and eloping with you to ponyland!!!!!!  
  
(All Gasp)  
  
Author #1: (evil grin and evil laugh) That's right it was alllllllll me!!!!!! Did you really think that Blondie over here could think of such thoughts?! And she's not even a real blonde!!!!!!!  
  
(all gasp again and look for Gabrielle's roots)  
  
Gabrielle: I'm really blonde where did you get that from?!  
  
Author # 1: Yup, that's right I saw you between episodes dumping peroxide on your hair! It's not true blondeness that makes you so dimwitted, it's your peroxide-fried brain!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Big Voice: Dumm Dumm Dumm! Let's skip the whole will the writers shut up thing, cause we all know that's not going to happen!!!!!!!  
  
Author #1: I don't like you anymore.......stupid disembodied voice....................  
  
Big Voice: Is Gabrielle really a blonde? Did Ares little comecial help sell any books? Where the hell did Solan go?  
  
Author #2: I know where he went!!!!!!!! Solan died in season three (crosses arms and feels smart)  
  
This and more questions answered in the Next Xena's Creek. 


End file.
